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Band 6.5

Some people believe that education and healthcare should be free of charge and funded by the government. Others think that it should be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #services
Whilst certain
people
 think there should be no expenses associated with salient necessities
such
 as
education
 and
healthcare
,
people
 with the opposite view contend that financing is the responsibility of consumers themselves to receive more competent
services
. I
also
 hold the view that
people
 should not be charged for
education
 and health-related
services
 because it must be considered a human right rather than a luxury. On the one hand, certain social countries offer free access to
education
 and
healthcare
 systems for their citizens to live comfortably. In Canada and Germany,
people
 have a right to study and benefit from overdeveloped
healthcare
 systems without paying a single penny, since the
quality
 of life is the utmost priority for their leaders.
Furthermore
, more opportunities will emerge in the future, once
people
 who utilized these chances will offset the given efforts by governments. It is worth noting that Canada and Germany are amongst the highest ranking for possessing
education
 and
healthcare
 systems in the world owing to the free-of-charge
services
 for the public.
On the other hand
, despite these arguments, there is
also
 a case for the idea that
education
 and health
services
 should be paid for by the public. The low
quality
 of public
healthcare
 and
education
 in specific countries is a primary driver of the question of why some
people
 prefer to finance these activities by themselves. As a vivid case of the deteriorated
quality
 of
education
 and
healthcare
services
, in Thailand, it is nearly impossible to take proper care let alone serious surgery if it is required.
Moreover
, if the literature and health sector received the support they required to bridge the gap, they could provide a better future for the following generations.
To conclude
,
although
 certain
people
 might prefer paid
services
due to
 their high
quality
, free educational and health
services
 should be available for everyone.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in argumentative progression throughout the essay, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusive ending. Be careful with paragraph transitions and topic sentence clarity to strengthen logical structure.
task achievement
You should elaborate more on the examples and explanations to clarify how they support the argument. Also, make an effort to ensure that all parts of the task are sufficiently covered, which includes a balanced discussion of both sides and the inclusion of a personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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