IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that education and healthcare should be free of charge and funded by the government. Others think that it should be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #healthcare #charge #government #responsibility #services
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whilst certain
people
Use synonyms
 think there should be no expenses associated with salient necessities
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 with the opposite view contend that financing is the responsibility of consumers themselves to receive more competent
services
Use synonyms
. I
also
Linking Words
 hold the view that
people
Use synonyms
 should not be charged for
education
Use synonyms
 and health-related
services
Use synonyms
 because it must be considered a human right rather than a luxury. On the one hand, certain social countries offer free access to
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems for their citizens to live comfortably. In Canada and Germany,
people
Use synonyms
 have a right to study and benefit from overdeveloped
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems without paying a single penny, since the
quality
Use synonyms
 of life is the utmost priority for their leaders.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more opportunities will emerge in the future, once
people
Use synonyms
 who utilized these chances will offset the given efforts by governments. It is worth noting that Canada and Germany are amongst the highest ranking for possessing
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems in the world owing to the free-of-charge
services
Use synonyms
 for the public.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite these arguments, there is
also
Linking Words
 a case for the idea that
education
Use synonyms
 and health
services
Use synonyms
 should be paid for by the public. The low
quality
Use synonyms
 of public
healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 in specific countries is a primary driver of the question of why some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to finance these activities by themselves. As a vivid case of the deteriorated
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, in Thailand, it is nearly impossible to take proper care let alone serious surgery if it is required.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the literature and health sector received the support they required to bridge the gap, they could provide a better future for the following generations.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 certain
people
Use synonyms
 might prefer paid
services
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their high
quality
Use synonyms
, free educational and health
services
Use synonyms
 should be available for everyone.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in argumentative progression throughout the essay, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusive ending. Be careful with paragraph transitions and topic sentence clarity to strengthen logical structure.
task achievement
You should elaborate more on the examples and explanations to clarify how they support the argument. Also, make an effort to ensure that all parts of the task are sufficiently covered, which includes a balanced discussion of both sides and the inclusion of a personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: