Many people think that money is important for achieving happiness. What importance does money have regarding happiness? Give your answer with relevant example?

happiness

Suggestion

Happiness

is something which cannot be described in words, it mean a different thing to different people. It is thought by masses that financial means and

money

is vital in order to attain joyful life.

Money

is helpful in fulfilling many desires of an

individuals

Suggestion

individual

and

also

used to achieve social status, which can be associated with happiness

Accept space

To begin

with, many materialistic things in

this

world can be purchased with

money

In other words

, people are fulfilling their desires and have possession, which cannot even afford to buy. If a person

have

Suggestion

has

is having

money

he will definitely try to provide the best of facilities to his family members and loved ones. Fore example, rich people generally have luxurious homes, cars and useful amenities. Apart from

this

also

helps to achieve the

felling

the experiencing of affective and emotional states

feeling

of accomplishment, because all the luxury is the result of huge dedication and hard-work. Moving

further

, undoubtedly

money

also

useful in maintaining social status.

Since

Suggestion

For

individuals who

have surplus income get

Suggestion

has surplus income gotten

has surplus income got

have surplus income get

more involved in social activities in comparison to others, so they are able to socialize in

effective manner

Suggestion

an effective manner

. Community life is indispensable for all the human beings, as we all are part of the society, nobody can live alone. Many public events

has been sponsored

Suggestion

have been sponsored

by wealthy people's like Indian Premium League is running because of the contribution

done

produced by a manufacturing process

made

by many high net-worth individuals.

Moreover

, they

also

donate

money

for the charity and needy people's, all

this

social support raise their values in the eye of the general public. Because of which they gain more respect and value. In conclusion, unequivocally

money

cannot everything, but many significant things can be achieved with financial resources.

Therefore

, rich people have more successful and happy life.

Mon Mar 23 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitation
foundational
comfort
financial stability
pursue hobbies
passionate
fulfilling
satisfying
financial security
peace of mind
mental well-being
fostering
social connections
fulfillment
material possessions
lasting memories
satisfaction
diminishing returns
wealth
translate
significant

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