Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinon.

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According to

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some people, confining

animals

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in zoos is detrimental to their well-being.

However

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, others believe that it enhances entertainment and boosts it in a wild environment. I will discuss both views and share my opinion. On the one hand, it's undeniable that keeping

animals

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in zoos can harm

animals

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physically and mentally.

This

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is because most of the continent’s

animals

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are used to exercising their instincts,

such

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as hunting, mating, and running in the wild.

Therefore

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, the small spaces of animal parks will limit their abilities to do so, leading them to experience anxiety, depression, and other physical issues

such

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as obesity and muscle atrophy

due to

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lack of activity.

For example

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, recent studies found that zoo

animals

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suffer from joint issues

due to

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limited space, and others showed repetitive behaviours, indicating stress and poor mental health.

This

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highlights the negative impact of captivity on animal well-being.

On the other hand

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, there are cases where it's significantly important to keep

animals

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in animal sanctuaries to prevent them from extinction.

This

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is because some species are exposed to poaching or loss of natural habitat, which leads them to extinction.

Therefore

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, wildlife sanctuaries provide the safest shelter for endangered living beings.

For instance

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, the Amur leopard, critically endangered

due to

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poaching and habitat loss, has seen an increase in its population

due to

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conservation efforts in protected areas.

In addition

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, it's possible to use nature reserves as a way to entertain visitors and let them connect with the wildlife and learn more about

animals

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As a result

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, we will guarantee both safety for endangered species and entertainment for people in a healthy way. In conclusion, keeping

animals

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in zoos just for entertainment, and not caring for what their needs and instincts are, can lead to physical and mental issues

such

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as anxiety and obesity.

Therefore

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, I personally believe that allowing visitors in protected areas is the ideal way to protect

animals

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and entertain people at the same time.

Ayreen🍒 Mon Mar 17 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your main argument or position to guide the reader. While you mention your opinion at the end, it could be more explicit at the beginning.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of linking phrases is good, but consider varying your transition words to enhance flow. For example, instead of 'on the other hand,' you might use 'in contrast' or 'conversely.'

task achievement

While you've provided relevant examples, expanding on the implications of your examples can strengthen your argument further. Explain why the examples are important in the context of your points.

task achievement

You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced view before presenting your opinion, which is commendable.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is organized logically with clear paragraphs, and each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which enhances readability.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinon.

Children now adays spend a great deal of time watching television, however, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well- educated today to what extend do you agree or disagree.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days everyone seems to have more possessions(e.g. computers, cars, mobile phones, etc) Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?