Although for most people it takes a long time to become successful, for some, it happens at a very young age. Are the disadvantages of being a young celebrity greater than the advantages.

The majority of people have to struggle for a long time to achieve great success in life, while others hit a home run in a matter of months or years when they are very young. As
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
see it, being rich and famous is not worth losing one's childhood.
This
essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of being a young celebrity and my opinion will be presented with supporting evidence. The most positive aspect of being a young celebrity is definitely the prompt success. Starting up at a young
age
allows child stars to develop their career paths early on as when they grow up, they are likely to have accumulated a huge range of valuable experience from the premature working process that newbies of the same
age
do not have.
In addition
, those who have attained prestige at an early
age especially
Accept comma addition
age, especially
through entertainment industry have more opportunities to develop and uphold their long-term professions.
For example
, many film corporations are willing to pay high packages for experienced young actors or actresses to work
for
Suggestion
in
their movies.
As a result
, these early - aged celebrities are not only more financially stable
then
their
peers but
Accept comma addition
peers, but
also
able to build their prospective businesses.
In addition
, being a young public figure would be extremely beneficial in terms of independence.
This
is since they have always been taught how to behave before
public
Suggestion
the public
and make their own decisions. Research conducted at the Canadian ministry of education revealed that famous young people are more expected to be independent by 50%. Despite
thwse
plural of "this"
these
those
arguments, there are various reasons why it might be considered as adverse to become successful early.
Firstly
, the primary disadvantage of getting popular while young is the loss of
childhood which
Accept comma addition
childhood, which
is
inevitable
Suggestion
inevitably
one of the most beautiful and memorable periods in each individual's life. These young talents have to spend far more time to work and practice constantly compared to other kids at the
age
that they should have been free to play, study and cultivate themselves.
Secondly
, gaining superficial attention may have some appeal, the reality
is it
Accept comma addition
is, it
can probably lead harms to children who are
in
Suggestion
at
a vulnerable
age
and certainly cannot be subjected to the tremendous public pressure and scrutiny.
For instance
, Haein, a
yougb
(used of living things especially persons) in an early period of life or development or growth
young
Korean singer,
whi
the person or persons that; the one that
who
was widely criticized for her voice due to lack of practice are now having serious depression and anxiety disorders.
Finally
, with a few years of life experience, children usually do not have enough social knowledge to cope with innumerable problems out of their related fields or protect themselves from detrimental factors of society
such
as child exploitation. All in all,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
strongly believe that healthy childhood, along with at least some degree of anonymity, is imperative to a child's overall well-being.
Therefore
, the benefits of the early
career's
Suggestion
career
success are outweighed by the negative drawbacks of sacrificing youth and the loss of one's natural development.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy invasion
  • scrutinize
  • overwhelming pressure
  • mental health
  • miss out
  • exploitation
  • financial gain
  • financial independence
  • unique opportunities
  • renowned personalities
  • life experiences
  • peer influence
  • social advocacy
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