IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is better for the people to live in cities where the conditions for living are better and far more comfortable. Others, however, feel that living in villages is better. Discuss both these views.

As the population grows over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time, many
people
Use synonyms
 decide to move to the countryside
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others remain
stay
Verb problem
apply
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in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is argued by some
people
Use synonyms
, I personally think that
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 will be harder, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
. Living in the
city
Use synonyms
 is better because the area is
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 and modern. So, it must be easy to improve our passions or skills, supported by advanced technology, knowledge, and capable human
resourches
Correct your spelling
resources
.
This
Linking Words
 reason affects
people
Use synonyms
 moving to the
city
Use synonyms
 to get
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life, and it makes the government
cannot
Verb problem
to
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 handle the population growth. Sadly,
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 becomes
more dense
Correct word choice
denser
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 and rapid.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there is
no
Rephrase
not
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 enough space for someone to enjoy the moment they live.
That is
Linking Words
 why more younger generations get mental health issues from
this
Linking Words
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, villages are a quiet and neat area with lots of greenery, so the air
still
Verb problem
is still
show examples
 fresh, which is good for our body and mind. Not only that,
the
Correct word choice
but the
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 villagers
also
Linking Words
 have a good neighbourhood, where
people
Use synonyms
 know and always help each other. It is simply, when you need something, most of them will give you
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
help freely.
This
Linking Words
 is why living here will be much better than in the
cities
Use synonyms
. To summarise,
while
Linking Words
 living in the
cities
Use synonyms
gives
Verb problem
has
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bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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to
Change preposition
on
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 our society and mental health, villages offer a better quality of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. I firmly believe that both
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 have
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 own advantages, but villages
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 positive impact than
cities
Use synonyms
. It is
also
Linking Words
 predicted in the future that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the trend will
be changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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people
Use synonyms
 will decide to move and stay in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.

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task response
Be clear on your view in the opening and keep it in the end. The essay should show one clear stance.
coherence
Describe each side in its own paragraph with one main point. This helps the reader keep ideas separate.
coherence
Use linking words to go from one idea to the next, like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'therefore'.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar to make your meaning clear.
task response
Give a real example or a small reason for each point.
structure
Check the length: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
content
You talk about two sides of the issue.
content
You try to show why city life and village life can be good.
structure
You keep your goal to tell what each side says.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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