IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the number of cases of diarrhea in Mashhad between 1983 and 1992.

The graph below gives information about the number of cases of diarrhea in Mashhad between 1983 and 1992.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates how
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 in Mashhad changed between 1983 and 1992. To summarize,
Diarrhea
Use synonyms
 in Mashhad remained relatively changed in 1992.
Besides
Linking Words
 they were at their highest in 1989
while
Linking Words
 the weakest
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 figures could be observed in 1992. It is inspected that in the first (1983),
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 stabilise at 100 number of 1983 and 1984.
Thus
Linking Words
 it minimally to reach almost 110
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1985.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by another climb, in 1986 when
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
just about 100
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
patients higher than in 1985. Until 1987, it has been still tripled.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 upward trend was abruptly broken and
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 deteriorates a sharp fall over 100 numbers of diagrams. In 1988,
this
Linking Words
 disease saw remarkable a surge back to
1989
Correct article usage
the 1989
show examples
 level as figures a peak
this
Linking Words
 was not
last
Linking Words
 since they dipped again in 1990 and 1991 Dirhams in
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
, after which
Use synonyms
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 figures tremendously plunged roughly the one
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1992.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words diarrhea with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: