In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, our eating habits have changed significantly.In fact, because of
Industrial
Revolution, Correct article usage
the Industrial
food
has become more processed by adding sugar and saturated fats to almost anything we eat.As a result
, more and more people
are suffering from health problems since our DNA is not designed for this
kind of diet.
Firstly
, this
problem is mainly caused by food
costs.In fact, main fast food
chains offer meals for low prices, making it more easy to afford.According to
data, among low-income families is very common to suffer from diseases like obesity, diabetes or coronary artery disease.In addition
, healthy food
is by far more expensive, so junk food
is preferred by disadvantaged people
.
Secondly
, in our society, we have less free time. Having a career is the priority for some people
, who often don't have time to prepare fresh food
. Furthermore
, most of the people
who work in an office are not physically active during the entire work shift. Recent studies showed how the combination of a low nutrient-dense food
diet and a sedentary lifestyle is the main reason for most of the medical conditions people
are affected in our decade.
In conclusion, I totally believe that raising taxes on this
kind of commodity can be a solution, while
at the same time lowering it in high nutritional food
.By doing that, governments can reduce people
's consuming fast food
, making them prefer healthier options. On the other hand
, politicians should also
improve nutritional education in schools to make people
more educated in their food
choices.Submitted by alessandro.talese on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher clarity in your arguments, consider briefly explaining how the Industrial Revolution relates to modern food processing at the start of the essay. This will help to provide a clearer context for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use transition phrases more consistently to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. For instance, use phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to connect closely related ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments. For example, mentioning specific reports or studies that demonstrate the link between fast food consumption and health problems can strengthen your case.
task achievement
Ensure that your argument covers both sides of the debate to create a balanced discussion. Even though you believe in raising taxes on fast food, briefly consider potential counterarguments as this can show depth in your analysis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and encapsulate the main ideas well, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively by discussing multiple factors contributing to the problem of fast food consumption.
task achievement
The use of specific diseases and lifestyles related to fast food consumption adds credibility to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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