Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
this
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modern generation, many people not only seeking for glamour and wealth, but they
also
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concern their achievements too. Achievement is the only evidence that can prove the person has succeeded in one field. It is glad to say that
this
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world still has some famous celebrities struggle for their achievement and giving a positive image to the young people.
Hence
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, I disagree with the statement as independence young people will not depend on the awful characteristics of celebrities,
instead
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they will find the good things and learn it.
Also
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, the great effort of celebrities will inspire them to face difficulty in the future.
Firstly
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, a mature young people will be following the famous celebrities that act as a positive role model. Some celebrities are hard working and giving their great efforts to their works are witnessed by everybody include young people.
This
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has influenced the young people who treat them as their idol to take effort in achieving their goals too.
For example
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, a famous novelist who is famous in the world now, she
also
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struggles to become successful in her life. Before her success, she needs to take care her baby that leads her could not afford a computer or even the expense of photocopying novel.
Thus
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, she manually typed out the novel and send to publishers.
Although
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it has been rejected many times, but she
finally
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found a publisher that giving her the
second
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chance (Scottberg, E.).
Therefore
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, one’s achievements are not always what you see as it’s coming from the blood, tears and sweat.
Submitted by yunntingtan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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