Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

this

modern generation, many people not only seeking for glamour and wealth, but they

also

concern their achievements too. Achievement is the only evidence that can prove the person has succeeded in one field. It is glad to say that

this

world still has some famous celebrities struggle for their achievement and giving a positive image to the young people.

Hence

, I disagree with the statement as independence young people will not depend on the awful characteristics of celebrities,

instead

they will find the good things and learn it.

Also

, the great effort of celebrities will inspire them to face difficulty in the future.

Firstly

, a mature young people will be following the famous celebrities that act as a positive role model. Some celebrities are hard working and giving their great efforts to their works are witnessed by everybody include young people.

This

has influenced the young people who treat them as their idol to take effort in achieving their goals too.

For example

, a famous novelist who is famous in the world now, she

also

struggles to become successful in her life. Before her success, she needs to take care her baby that leads her could not afford a computer or even the expense of photocopying novel.

Thus

, she manually typed out the novel and send to publishers.

Although

it has been rejected many times, but she

finally

found a publisher that giving her the

second

chance (Scottberg, E.).

Therefore

, one’s achievements are not always what you see as it’s coming from the blood, tears and sweat.

Submitted by yunntingtan on Tue Mar 31 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

259 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is high time men ceased to regard women as second class citizen . To what extant do you agree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?