IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable? Could the money be better spent?

#space #exploration #sums #money #amount #research
In
this
 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on whether it is necessary for the government to invest in space exploration. In my opinion, the amount of money spent on
such
 projects is reasonable, whereas there are several areas that
also
 need to be invested in. The quest for a new homeland in the universe is necessary. To be more specific, humans are destroying their own planet by cutting down trees and releasing more waste, which indirectly leads to the demise of the planet in the future.
For instance
, it has been scientifically proven that the problem of climate change is getting worse and having devastating effects on the planet
such
 as global warming. In fact, the effects of global warming not only increases the sea level but
also
 leads to the disappearance of large areas.
Thus
, the probe into space has begun to explore new homelands in the universe because the problems caused by climate change are irreversible. There are many urgent fields on the earth that require investment.
Firstly
, the lack of hospitals leads to the lower level of health care. As a matter of fact, more and more people, especially in less developed areas, are suffering from diseases
such
 as Malaria, but they cannot get treatment.
Therefore
, investing in building more hospitals or employing more doctors in underdeveloped areas is needed, which ensure the health service for the citizens.
Secondly
, the problem of low quality education is very urgent as same as many people go to schools but do not receive the necessary skills to contribute to the society.
Therefore
, it is necessary for all members of the society to have a high quality education system by allocating funding for changing the curriculum in schools as well as putting theory into practice, which will open up opportunities for more productive and competitive labour markets. In conclusion, not only adopting a broader perspective on space exploration, but
also
 investing money in education and health care is necessary methods.
Submitted by hphuongvc999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • justifiable
  • vast sums of money
  • satellite communications
  • economic benefits
  • climate change
  • atmospheric changes
  • global issues
  • humanitarian needs
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • colonization
  • catastrophic events
  • space exploration
  • innovations
  • job creation
  • boosting the economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: