Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work

Sometimes, it has been seen that human body respond healthier at certain phases of

age unlike

Accept comma addition

age, unlike

the usual bodily behaviour at that particular phase.

This

enhances the life tenure of an individual. Unfortunately,

such

group of individuals is much less as compared to others, so, it won't affect the working ability of most of the people at that

age

. I disagree with the fact that, the end of the service

age

should be increased considering the higher living index. It has been seen that, a lot of people seem much healthier close to their retirement

age

and are willing to continue their services, but, due to fix service tenure they have to retire.

For example

, people who are 40 years, because after that old

age body

Accept comma addition

age, body

do not respond in the same way

that is

required for being an air force pilot. Same is the case with other type of services. Looking at the fact, that people are willing to continue same task, may not be an appropriate way of looking at things.

This

also reduce

Suggestion

also reduces

the chances of others to get into the same profession.

For instance

, a bank employee, if he/she doesn't get retired at a certain maturity and continue working. So, it is necessary to maintain

this

cycle of healthy professionalism. In conclusion, retirement

age

should be fixed despite the fact the an individual is willing working, as

this

will not only create a healthy work atmosphere task atmosphere, but

also

create a lot of opportunities for upcoming population

also

This

is a cycle of life

that is

governed by maturity and one should respect it and maintain the pace.

Submitted by doabsingh03 on Fri Apr 03 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Some people think that only government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals have a lot of influence. What is your opinions?