Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

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However

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, few individuals rely on

parents

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to instil the values of being a decent member of society in their kids.

Whereas

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, some believe that teachers play a vital role in doing

this

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However

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, In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and state my opinion on the latter view. There is no doubt that

schools

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also

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play an important role in establishing the careers of the little ones

while

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teaching them to be more independent.

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, I believe in the saying that '

parents

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are the child’s first teacher'. But sometimes,

schools

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don’t always give

children

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the hundred per cent focus they need to have.

For example

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, there are many

schools

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that are not privately operated and are cost-effective, in these

schools

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not every child is given proper attention, and sometimes,

children

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get bullied but there is no one to hear their worries.

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, the School's teaching system is weighed on how costly

schools

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are, the more high-rated

schools

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are, the better they are at teaching

children

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. Not every youngster deserves a high-rated school.

Therefore

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this

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lacks the confidence of

children

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, as they are not taught proper leadership skills. I believe that

parents

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play a very crucial role in building a solid foundation in a child’s developmental stage. Nurture starts from home, and

this

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is where

parents

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need to guide their

children

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to be better people in society.

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, studies have revealed that bad parenting, and using violent language or actions in front of the child has made those

children

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also

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do the same with other

children

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and bully their classmates by following the footsteps of their

parents

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Nevertheless

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, it is very important for

parents

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to be careful of their actions and the words they use in front of their young ones, as based on psychological studies, kids grasp what is happening around them very quickly and practice it on others. In conclusion,

although

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sending

children

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to school is one way of making them a better citizen in the future, I firmly believe domestic upbringing is the main key to moulding a child's behaviour and making them a mannered person to serve their country in the future.

Submitted by khadiii60 on Mon May 06 2024

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Introduction Clarity

Make sure your introduction sets the stage for your argument and clearly outlines the views you will discuss. While you've started well, a more distinct thesis statement could enhance clarity.

Coherence

To improve coherence, aim for smoother transitions between ideas. Use phrases that clearly connect your points and help guide the reader through your argument.

Examples

For a higher task achievement score, ensure your examples are detailed and directly support your main points. While you have provided examples, diving deeper into specifics could strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both views on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Conclusion

Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the main ideas presented in your essay.

Structure

You've maintained a good structure, with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This organization aids reader comprehension.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Many educational institues are offering online courses. Do the advantages of this form of education outweigh the disadvantages.

Handwriting today is less formal than it was in the past. What are the causes of this change? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.