Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
However
, few individuals rely on parents
to instil the values of being a decent member of society in their kids. Whereas
, some believe that teachers play a vital role in doing this
. However
, In this
essay, I will discuss both views and state my opinion on the latter view.
There is no doubt that schools
also
play an important role in establishing the careers of the little ones while
teaching them to be more independent. However
, I believe in the saying that 'parents
are the child’s first teacher'. But sometimes, schools
don’t always give children
the hundred per cent focus they need to have. For example
, there are many schools
that are not privately operated and are cost-effective, in these schools
not every child is given proper attention, and sometimes, children
get bullied but there is no one to hear their worries. Additionally
, the School's teaching system is weighed on how costly schools
are, the more high-rated schools
are, the better they are at teaching children
. Not every youngster deserves a high-rated school. Therefore
, this
lacks the confidence of children
, as they are not taught proper leadership skills.
I believe that parents
play a very crucial role in building a solid foundation in a child’s developmental stage. Nurture starts from home, and this
is where parents
need to guide their children
to be better people in society. For instance
, studies have revealed that bad parenting, and using violent language or actions in front of the child has made those children
also
do the same with other children
and bully their classmates by following the footsteps of their parents
. Nevertheless
, it is very important for parents
to be careful of their actions and the words they use in front of their young ones, as based on psychological studies, kids grasp what is happening around them very quickly and practice it on others.
In conclusion, although
sending children
to school is one way of making them a better citizen in the future, I firmly believe domestic upbringing is the main key to moulding a child's behaviour and making them a mannered person to serve their country in the future.Submitted by khadiii60 on
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Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction sets the stage for your argument and clearly outlines the views you will discuss. While you've started well, a more distinct thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Coherence
To improve coherence, aim for smoother transitions between ideas. Use phrases that clearly connect your points and help guide the reader through your argument.
Examples
For a higher task achievement score, ensure your examples are detailed and directly support your main points. While you have provided examples, diving deeper into specifics could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Conclusion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the main ideas presented in your essay.
Structure
You've maintained a good structure, with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This organization aids reader comprehension.
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