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Band 5.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after 60, it would cause problems for younger people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work
It is often believed by a few sections of society that
younger generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
a younger generation
 would be impacted if senior citizens are allowed to
work
 at their old
age
.
Although
this
 might be a prevalent conviction among some people, my perspective is that, letting aged people
work
 after 60 years of
age
 will not pose any problems for younger workforce.
This
 essay will decipher various reasons for my standpoint.
Firstly
, ageing significantly affects the cognitive abilities, analytical skills and reasoning capacity of
human being
Suggestion
human beings
the human being
a human being
.
In other words
, brain
functionality
Suggestion
function
 of a person may slow down and
this
 may directly result in poor productivity at
work
. To instantiate, in a recent study, it was found that humans are more susceptible to brain damage and nervous disorders after the
age
 of 60 which marks the decline in exceptional performances in their field of
work
 rate.
This
 may not be the case with youths as they are considered to be adept at productive
work
.
Therefore
, letting senior
work
 after certain
age
 will not affect the younger people as the former cannot be considered as a threat to the more capable younger working class.
Secondly
, elderly people find it arduous to quickly learn new technology.
This
 is because
previous century
Suggestion
the previous century
 as opposed to the current century, never experienced the fast pace of evolving business, so
this
 provided no opportunity for the workers during that time to adapt to the changes.
For instance
, in many organizations, when applications that
work
 on older technology is decommissioned, older employees face difficulty in swiftly comprehend and are more sensitive to changes.
However
, the younger working class has always showed positive involvement to these variations which makes them more preferable employability.
Hence
, allowing elderly people to
work
 cannot pose any problems to
younger generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
a younger generation
younger generations
. To recapitulate, due to various
age
 related challenges
such
 as declining health, slower learning and poor adapting skills, I believe that the presence of
old
Suggestion
older
 people in the job market will not offer any challenge to the prospects of
younger generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
.
Therefore
, older people, if allowed to
work
 after 60 years of
age
, would not cause problems
to
Suggestion
with
younger
Suggestion
a younger age group
the younger age group
younger age groups
age
 group.
Submitted by pavanbabhaniya1993 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic preference
  • liberating
  • physical activity
  • chronic diseases
  • natural light
  • job satisfaction
  • environmental connection
  • monotonous
  • dynamic
  • stimulating
  • fulfilling career
  • creativity
  • inspire
  • office politics
  • corporate structures
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