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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie chart below compare water usage in San Diego, California, Worldwide

The pie chart below compare water usage in San Diego, California, Worldwide
#water #usage #san #diego #california
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The given pie charts show a comparison of
water
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consumptions
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consumption
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 in domestic, industrial and agricultural sectors in
San
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Diego
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,
California
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 and the world as a whole.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the two American
regions
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,regions
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 the majority of
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water
Add an article
the water
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 was used for homes followed by industry and agriculture
while
Linking Words
 worldwide use focused overwhelmingly on agriculture over industry and
finally
Linking Words
 residential use. In
San
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Diego
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 County, residential
water
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 consumption accounts for 60%, which is around 20% higher than that of
California
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the global residential
water
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 usage is only 8% for the same purpose in other parts of the world, which is the lowest figure in the chart. It is remarkable that
San
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Diego
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 and the world used the same rate of
water
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 at 23% for industry
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
California
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 was 10% higher at 33%. Global
water
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 consumption for farming is approximately 70%, which is significantly higher than the use of
water
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 in
San
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Diego
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 and
California
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 for the same purpose. Only 17% and 28%
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water
Change preposition
of water
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 is used for cultivation in
San
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Diego
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 and
California
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 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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