Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development ?

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It is true that corporations have the tendency to play a role in different aspects of competitive

sports

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nowadays.

While

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I understand that

this

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bilateral relation may cause some negative impacts, I would argue that it is a step long sought by

sports

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advocates to help sporting

events

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take off. The unfavourable side of

this

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movement can be attributed to two main factors, match-fixing and the use of illegal

substance

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substances

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. Many companies which are funding sporting

events

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apply

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are simultaneously sponsoring one or multiple teams of their own.

Hence

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, many people are apprehensive about the idea that the result of a tournament could be predetermined by how much money big companies are pouring in to buy their teams’ victories.

Furthermore

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, substantial monetary benefits may entice athletes into using performance-enhancing drugs in

sports

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tournaments.

This

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can have detrimental effects on sporting

events

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, as it jeopardizes the health of its users

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apply

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while

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ruining sportsmanship and the outputs of all the matches that it is involved in. On the flip side, funding from

corporate

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corporations

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can facilitate

sports

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development in many ways.

Firstly

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, it helps sporting organizations have the money needed to organize holistically better

events

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This

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money can be used for many activities, namely the production and marketing of the campaign, to serve the purpose of meeting the public’s expectations by bringing out a fully operational and aesthetically pleasing tournament.

Secondly

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, sportsmen, at least those who play popular ones, are able to secure themselves a stable or even lucrative income.

As a result

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, devoted athletes can rid themselves of financial worries and be extra focused on their games to give more eye-pleasing performances for the followers of the sport. In conclusion,

while

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the connection between sporting

events

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and commercial companies can have several bad effects, I am convinced that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

Wed Apr 08 2020

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content

In the second paragraph, you mention match-fixing and the use of illegal substance. But you only described the negative effects of them, but did not provide specific examples.

structure

The structure of the essay is logical, and your ideas are clear. However, some points could be more explicitly linked back to the essay question to make sure they are clearly relevant.

conclusion

In your conclusion, you mention several bad effects and benefits; however, it would have been better if you had summed up specifically what those points were, for the sake of clarity.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development ?

In some counties young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies

In many parts of the world, people are choosin gto have fewer children. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

Some believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import films and TV programmes, while others think it is better for a country to have their own films and TV programmes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.