Some people think that the use of mobile (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as libraries and shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is generally claimed that nowadays, with technological development, the majority of
people
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always
use
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mobile
phones
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to work, study and enjoy their life all the time in the world.
As a result
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, a number of
people
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believe that
people
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should not
use
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mobile
phones
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in public
areas
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. Others do not agree with
this
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idea
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. I personally agree with the
idea
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that using mobile
phones
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should be banned in public
areas
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. There are a number of strong arguments to support the
idea
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that in public
areas
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people
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should not
use
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mobile
phones
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. If
people
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always
use
Use synonyms
mobile
phones
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in public
areas
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, they sometimes make lots of noise, especially in libraries and shops and on public transport.
For instance
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, in libraries, the majority of students pay attention to studying or reading. If someone’s
cell
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phone suddenly rings at
this
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moment, it affects the
people
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around one and it takes a certain amount of time to come to their senses
and
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apply
show examples
Wrong verb form
making
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make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
it difficult to concentrate.
Consequently
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, in public
areas
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,
cell
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phones
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should be banned.
While
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some
people
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believe that
smartphones
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should not be banned, because
people
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probably meet some emergency situations, there are some important reasons to agree with the
idea
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that
people
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should not
use
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cell
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phones
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in public
areas
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. Nowadays, with technological development, more and more apportions can be used in
people
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’s
smartphones
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.
In addition
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, these can make
people
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’s lives easier and more convenient.
Nevertheless
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,
people
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always spend lots of time using
smartphones
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.
For example
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, the UN reported that teenagers spend more than 3 hours using
phones
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, and adult spends more than 4.5 hours. They go to libraries to study not to
use
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free public WIFI for entertainment. If their mobile phone is always with them, they always want to check whether there is information or emails, and it is difficult to concentrate on studying.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
should not
use
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smartphones
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in public
areas
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. In conclusion, I firmly believe that using
cell
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phones
Use synonyms
in public
areas
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should be banned because they always affect oneself and disturb others.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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introduction
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and your viewpoint, setting a clear direction for the essay. To further enhance it, consider adding a sentence that outlines the main points you will discuss, providing a roadmap for the reader.
body
In your essay, you have provided logical arguments supported by relevant examples, which greatly strengthens your position. To enhance clarity, consider varying your sentence structures and using synonyms to avoid repetition.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your arguments and reaffirms your position. For a stronger impact, you might want to briefly mention the potential consequences of not adopting your suggested policy.
organization
The essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion, with paragraphs well-organized around central ideas. Using a wider range of linking devices could make transitions between ideas smoother and more evident to the reader.
content
Effective use of examples to support arguments.
structure
Clear structure and logical flow of ideas.
argument
Strong position statement in both the introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • indispensable
  • disturbances
  • restrictions
  • justified
  • distraction
  • outright bans
  • zones
  • silent modes
  • communication
  • emergency situations
  • hindering
  • implementing
  • policy
  • respect
  • consideration
  • personal responsibility
  • blanket regulations
  • social etiquette
  • evolving norms
  • acceptable behavior
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