Some people think that the use of mobile (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as libraries and shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is generally claimed that nowadays, with technological development, the majority of
people
always use
mobile phones
to work, study and enjoy their life all the time in the world. As a result
, a number of people
believe that people
should not use
mobile phones
in public areas
. Others do not agree with this
idea
. I personally agree with the idea
that using mobile phones
should be banned in public areas
.
There are a number of strong arguments to support the idea
that in public areas
people
should not use
mobile phones
. If people
always use
mobile phones
in public areas
, they sometimes make lots of noise, especially in libraries and shops and on public transport. For instance
, in libraries, the majority of students pay attention to studying or reading. If someone’s cell
phone suddenly rings at this
moment, it affects the people
around one and it takes a certain amount of time to come to their senses and
Correct word choice
apply
Wrong verb form
making
make
it difficult to concentrate. Wrong verb form
making
Consequently
, in public areas
, cell
phones
should be banned.
While
some people
believe that smartphones
should not be banned, because people
probably meet some emergency situations, there are some important reasons to agree with the idea
that people
should not use
cell
phones
in public areas
. Nowadays, with technological development, more and more apportions can be used in people
’s smartphones
. In addition
, these can make people
’s lives easier and more convenient. Nevertheless
, people
always spend lots of time using smartphones
. For example
, the UN reported that teenagers spend more than 3 hours using phones
, and adult spends more than 4.5 hours. They go to libraries to study not to use
free public WIFI for entertainment. If their mobile phone is always with them, they always want to check whether there is information or emails, and it is difficult to concentrate on studying. As a result
, people
should not use
smartphones
in public areas
.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that using cell
phones
in public areas
should be banned because they always affect oneself and disturb others.Submitted by hsmkashi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and your viewpoint, setting a clear direction for the essay. To further enhance it, consider adding a sentence that outlines the main points you will discuss, providing a roadmap for the reader.
body
In your essay, you have provided logical arguments supported by relevant examples, which greatly strengthens your position. To enhance clarity, consider varying your sentence structures and using synonyms to avoid repetition.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your arguments and reaffirms your position. For a stronger impact, you might want to briefly mention the potential consequences of not adopting your suggested policy.
organization
The essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion, with paragraphs well-organized around central ideas. Using a wider range of linking devices could make transitions between ideas smoother and more evident to the reader.
content
Effective use of examples to support arguments.
structure
Clear structure and logical flow of ideas.
argument
Strong position statement in both the introduction and conclusion.