IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Should a city protect historical heritage sites, even at the expense of its development?

Nowadays preserving historical
heritage
Use synonyms
 sites is a significant purpose which some cities achieve at the expense of their
development
Suggestion
developer
developed
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of protecting
historical legacy
Suggestion
the historical legacy
 at the cost of a city’s expansion and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of saving ancient buildings and locations are
boost
Suggestion
boosted
boosting
 in
city’s economy
Suggestion
the city’s economy
 and conservation of nation’s spiritual
heritage
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, as far as economy concerned, it is improved by tourism industry that provides job opportunities and tourists, who spend money in a city. The better condition sites have, the more visitors they have.
For instance
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, about 6 million people attend the Colosseum annually and the number of them is constantly
growing making
Accept comma addition
growing, making
 the Colosseum one of the most visited attractions in the world.
Secondly
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,
heritage
Use synonyms
 sites represent the past history and culture of a city having a connection with essential events that occurred in the area
such
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 as religious, social and political events.
In addition
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,
heritage
Use synonyms
 buildings form together the architectural
heritage
Use synonyms
 of an area.
However
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, protecting historical
heritage
Use synonyms
 sites at the expense of a city’s development has disadvantages. The main drawback is that history is not as significant as progress. Some experts support the view that people should not live in the past,
instead
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, they should seek
to
Suggestion
for
in
 the future.
Moreover
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, it is widely believed that all spheres should be developed. Another negative aspect is that
heritage
Use synonyms
 buildings are sometimes impractical and do not have their own purpose. Supporters of the idea claim that by replacing these buildings, there will be more space for housing, which is important due to the problem of overcrowding.
However
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, appropriate steps taken by the government can eliminate these disadvantages. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 preserving historical
heritage
Use synonyms
 sites at the expense of
city’s development
Suggestion
a city’s development
the city’s development
 has certain drawbacks like impracticality of the sites and importance of progress, it has a positive impact on
city’s economy
Suggestion
the city’s economy
 and saves nation’s spiritual
heritage
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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