IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods
Some people argue that we do not have to remember the basic meaning of festivals, and that most of us good opportunities to having fun. I agree that satisfaction
also
 significant during festival times, I disagree that people have forgotten what these festival means. On the one hand, religious and traditional festivals have a certain crucial role in society. In Uzbekistan, Eid is an obvious example of a festival period when people are most concerned linked to shopping, giving and receiving presents, cleaning their homes and enjoying traditional meals with their families.
However
, some people look forward to Eid
,
Accept space
,
 than a time to practice religion. Similar behaviour can be seen during other festivals,
such
 as Navruz. People associate
this
 vocation with planting trees, cooking a variety of meals, and going to events in local parks,
in other words
, the enjoyment is people’s primary goal
.
Accept space
.
On the other hand
, I disagree with
this
 argument that the original meaning of
such
 festivals has been forgotten. In Uzbekistan middle school, children should learn in detail about the religious reasons for celebrating Eid, Baroat day and different types of festivals within other religions.
For instance
, late Ramadan, adults organizes a large party to devote old people and they remember the memory of their previous forefathers. Families
also
 play a vital role in passing knowledge about religious festivals to the
next
 generation. Briefly, people generally learn behind
this
 occasion at an early age. In conclusion, whereas people want to enjoy during

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
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