IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

You recently ordered something online; when you opened the packet the product was damaged with which you were disappointed

#packet #product
Dear Customer Service, I am writing to address a concerning issue regarding a recent order I placed on your online platform.
Firstly
, I acquired a beautiful feast set from Maya Home Decor as a
birthday
 gift for my sister, a transaction made with excitement and anticipation.
However
, upon receiving the package and eagerly opening it in preparation for her
birthday
 celebration, I was dismayed to find that the supper set was damaged. The delicate pieces were cracked and chipped, diminishing the intended joy and surprise of the gift.
Furthermore
,
this
 feast set holds great importance as it was meant to be a special and memorable gift for my sister's
birthday
, symbolizing our bond and shared moments of celebration. Equally, its aesthetic appeal and functional utility were carefully chosen to complement her home and enhance her hosting experiences. Given the unfortunate condition in which the banquet set arrived, I kindly request your immediate assistance in arranging a replacement. I believe
this
 would not only rectify the situation but
also
 uphold the reputation of your brand for quality products and customer satisfaction.
Moreover
, I have attached images clearly depicting the extent of the damage for your reference, and the order number is KX453454, delivered on 24/05/24. Thank you for your attention to
this
 matter. I eagerly await your prompt response and the replacement of the damaged feast set in time for my sister's
birthday
. Alternatively, another possibility would be to provide a refund or compensation for the inconvenience caused.
Nevertheless
, I trust that you will take the necessary steps to address
this
 issue promptly. Yours sincerely,
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there's a clear closing sentence to summarize your request and sentiments.
task achievement
While the essay is comprehensive, avoid using terms that might be slightly redundant like 'banquet set,' 'feast set,' and 'supper set' interchangeably. Stick with one term for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context of the problem, and the essay contains a well-structured argument.
task achievement
You give specific details about your order, its significance, and attach images; this helps make your argument compelling.
coherence cohesion
The tone of the letter is polite and firm, suitable for addressing customer service.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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