Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

When the
prisoners
have fulfilled their
conviction
Fix the agreement mistake
convictions
show examples
, the government will let them
freed
Add a missing verb
be freed
show examples
.
However
, many inhabitants said that
although
prisoners
have been freed, they will still have a chance to commit some
criminals
Replace the word
crimes
show examples
.
This
essay firmly does not agree with
this
notion and will state the reasons.
To begin
with, the primary reason why ex-
prisoners
will not commit any violence is that their heart is full of the feel of
regretful
Replace the word
regret
show examples
.
According to
some research, missing their family is the most significant pressure for the
prisoners
. Because some of them probably think that their families will not receive them again.
Furthermore
, the
prisoners
will not want to taste the
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
of prison again because their surroundings are full of
criminals
.
Thus
,
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
back to
penitentiary
Correct article usage
the penitentiary
show examples
is the worst thing for the
criminals
.
Moreover
, a decision from the government cannot be in vain
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
criminals
. People who have been in the cell for the second time will get a more stringent punishment
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than formerly.
Therefore
, they will not commit any
criminals
Replace the word
crimes
show examples
again and start to think about some jobs that are sufficient for them. For smart
prisoners
, they will utilize their time in jail to plan what they want to do when they are free.
Thus
, it is not impossible for a prisoner to become a rich man with a good job. In conclusion,
although
there are some ex-
prisoners
still
Correct pronoun usage
who still
show examples
do bratty things, the chance for the
criminals
to change is more leading because they do not want to humiliate their family and
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
a lengthy penitential time again.
Submitted by devil181818181818 on

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task response
Improve the clarity of the response to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear, logical structure and consistency in ideas throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • recidivism
  • therapy
  • stigmatization
  • reoffending
  • accountability
  • support programs
  • proactive steps
  • personal choice
  • societal barriers
  • reform
  • transformation
  • opportunities
  • environment
  • social support
  • success stories
  • examples
  • criminal behavior
  • stereotype
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