IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

- Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is good thing while others disagree . discuss both view and your own opinion.

#science #people #years #believe
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It is generally believed that as the
life
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span
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 is being extended these days,
retirement
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age
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 should be increased simultaneously. I tend to agree with those people as it may lead to the economic flourish.
To begin
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 with, rules
shoul
Suggestion
the rules
d be changed and updated by the legislature and other authorities equal to
societ
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y trans
Suggestion
societal
formation.
Age
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 of
retirement
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 is affected by some criteria like
life
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span
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,
society
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 needs and economic requirements.
Thus
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 i
t is lo
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Thus, it
gical to change
this
Linking Words
age
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 as these factors are changing.
Moreover
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, if workin
g period becam
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the working period
e longer, it would be a great aid to econom
y. Peop
Suggestion
the economy
le in the
retirement
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 period will turn into the pure consumers and their burden should be carried by other
society
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 sections.
This
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 phenomenon if happened out of balance, may lead to the economic and
subsequently
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society
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 crisis.
However
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, it should not be denied that
age
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 of
retirement
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 is not limited to
lif
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e
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to, life
span
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, econom
ic and
Suggestion
economics
economy
society
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 requirements. Of great significance is that other principles like people
abili
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
ties in high ages,
societ
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y accep
Suggestion
society's
tance, mental preparation and etc sh
oul
continuing in the same way
etc.
d be considered. Based on research carried out by scientists, efficiency may alleviate after specific
age
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 and it is likely to inflict adverse impact on work e
nvironment. By
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the work environment
work environments
the way of conclu
sion it appea
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conclusion, it
rs to me that enhancement of
retirement
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age
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 equal to elevate of
life
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span
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 may lead to the growth of economic due to increase of workforces in societies.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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