IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? ielts mentor

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities #ielts #mentor
The exponential growth of supermarkets and big businesses has a negative effect on small ones.
Consequently
, many believe that the growing number of market chains can be the demise of local communities. I strongly believe that it is true that with every small
business
 closing its door there is a disadvantage for our communities. From coffee shops to local laundries and beyond, small businesses contribute to a
community
’s image. In fact, each local
community
 is known for its local shops and small businesses, which stood the test of time and every resident knows about it or its owner.
That is
 why; the ever-growing growth of big businesses limits the preservation of communities’ identities. Not only that, but
also
,
this
 trend has many other drawbacks. Small
business
 owners are an important part of the
community
 in which they live and work.
Thus
, they tend to recognize how their decisions affect their neighbours.
In addition
, local small
business
 entrepreneurs tend to be involved in the
community
.
For instance
, they may sponsor local Little League teams, donate to the city’s homeless shelter, join the chamber of commerce, participate in
community
 charity events, or contribute to a local non-profit organization. It is
also
 not unheard of for successful
business
 owners to guest lecture at the local
community
 college, technical institute, or small
business
 centre.
Thus
 eliminating small businesses leads to the suffering of the communities. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the closure of regional shops may affect the local population negatively and threaten their existence.
Submitted by sammyxo59 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: