IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Providing a national system in a country where the unemployed receive a regular payment only encourages people not to seek work and puts an unreasonable strain on a country’s financial resources. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

#system #country #payment #people #work #strain #country’s #resources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a salad days of the millennium, the society is polarized into two groups almost equally regarding the notion that financial help should be given to unemployed on a regular basis.Others,
however
, believe that it leads to economic crises and only encourages them to sit free. Different people have their distinct mindsets. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before making final note. To commence with the
first
 notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour.
First
 and foremost, after getting some pay from power, unemployed sector will able to get a basic needs like food.
As a result
, poverty may demolish from a nation.
Secondly
, with the financial support every poor child will able to achieve beneficiary education.
Consequently
, improvement in educational field can be seen. Shifting towards the
second
 school of thought, after receiving regular help they would not like to do any hard work.
Hence
, it may create more unemployment.
Moreover
, if regime supply
this
 much salary,
then
 there would be no capital left for other requirements.
Therefore
, there will be financial crises and the growth rate will decrease dramatically. Having discussed both arguments and counter arguments, I would like to infer that authority should furnish more training facilities to increase employment
instead
 of providing financial assistance. To justify my state of mind, there is an instance of developed countries which provide more employment opportunities to citizens and they are more stable than developing one. So, there is a need to educate public and help them to get a job. Hammering the
last
 nail, I personally feel that the union should spend time and fund to create more jobs rather than providing financial assistance to unemployed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: