IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that educators are more influential in the stu
dent's li
Suggestion
students'
ves than their own parents. Personally, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion due to the following reasons. On the one hand, after enrolling in a school, pupils tend to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in class than at home, since most of the educational systems run full-
time
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,
therefore
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, teachers might have a gre
ater
Suggestion
great
time
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 of life to share their knowledge with children.
For instance
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, social studies have shown that in some countries like America students stay an average of 8 hours at school because of extra classes, which means the family can spend only around 5 or 6 hours with their children before sleeping
time
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they are more tired than listening to their parents.
Additionally
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, educators have fewer difficulties to teach adolescences and children, as a consequence, pupils are more likely to listen to teachers in comparison to parents.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the emotional attachments among family members may help to influence children, as people tend to respect and admire more loved ones than the others, as an
re
Suggestion
a
sult, they might become their children's role models.
For example
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, if a family commonly goes to the church, the following generation who loves their parents will obey the same religion, which would not happen in an abusive family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents are for
wh
Suggestion
from
o
le of
Suggestion
the whole
 life while teachers
last
Linking Words
 for a year, because academic educations are only a proportion of someone's life. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 teenagers and children may be influenced by teachers who spend a significant spare of
time
Use synonyms
 with them during school, mothers and fathers may have stronger influences due to their emotional relation

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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