IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
GENERALLY, SPORTS ARE PLAYED TO WIN THE AWARD FOR A COUNTRY AND TO BREAK RECORD WORLDWIDELY.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
,
THIS
Linking Words
 HAS CHANGED. NOWADAYS, PEOPLE PLAY ANY KIND OF GAME TO EARN BIG AMOUNT AND TO BE POPULAR. IN MY OPINION,
THIS
Linking Words
 LEAVE A BIG MESSAGE FOR YOUNGSTERS THAT, IF THEY WANT TO HAVE A NAME AND FAME
THEN
Linking Words
 IT IS A GOOD OPTION TO JOIN GAMES.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
,
THIS
Linking Words
 HAS SOME NEGATIVE EFFECTS TOO THAT I WILL SHOW IN
NEXT
Linking Words
 PARAGRAPHS.
TO BEGIN
Linking Words
 WITH, EVERYBODY DO WORK FOR MONEY OR BE FAMOUS. SO, PLAYING GAMES IS THE BEST OPTION TO HAVE BOTH. SPORTS ARE PLAYED IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AS WELL AS IN NATIVE. PEOPLE PLAY THEM, BECAUSE THEY ARE HIGHLY PAID FOR THESE.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, CRICKETER’S SALARIES RE BETWEEN 1 TO 2 MILLION FOR A SINGLE MATCH NO MATTER IF THEY WIN OR LOSE IT. THEY ARE ONLY PAID FOR PARTICIPATING AND PLAYING.
THUS
Linking Words
,
THIS
Linking Words
 ENCOURAGE TO YOUNG PEOPLE TO TAKE PART IN ONLY OR BEING WELL PAID.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
,
THIS
Linking Words
 TYPE OF MOTIVATION COULD AFFECT NEGATIVELY FOR THE SPORTS. EVERY YEAR, NEW MEMBER PARTICIPATE IN THEM.
IN OTHER WORDS
Linking Words
, AFTER PLAYING
FIRST
Linking Words
 MATCH SPORTERS EARN HANSOME MONEY AND BECOME FAMOUS COULD LEAD TO LOSE SPORTMEN AND WOMEN. SO, NEW COMERS ENTER AND DO THE SAME. THEIR DESIRE FOR WINNING PRIZE AND DOING RECORDS WILL DIMINISH, IF THEY ALL WILL ENCOURAGED N
THIS
Linking Words
 WAY. THEY WOULD CHANGE THEIR CAREER
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS DHONY IS NOW AN ACTOR AND NOT CRICKETER. N CONCLUSION, SPORTS MEN AND WOMEN LEAVE THE MESSAGE TO NEW GENERATION THAT, IF THEY WOULD EARN NAME AND FAME THAN IT IS BETTER TO TAKE PART IN DIFFERENT GAMES. WHILE,
THIS
Linking Words
 COULD LOSE PLAYERS FOR ANY SPORTS, IF THEY CONTINUE TO MOTIVE IN
THIS
Linking Words
 WAY.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: