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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today more people are spending their holidays abroad. What in your opinion are the primary reasons of this? What are the main effects of this trend on the local touristic attractions?

In our days, many
people
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 prefer to go on their vacation to another
country
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, rather than choose some local
places
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. From my point of view, It generally happens because the
country
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 where they live does not have enough
places
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, where citizens are able to rest. It will cause economic issues because of the small number of tourists Some
countries
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 do not focus on providing their citizens with special zones, where they are able to rest. When the
country
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 does not have enough historical
places
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, parks, hotels,
places
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 with beautiful nature views and other tourist attractions,
people
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 who live there do not have enough variety of
places
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 where they can spend their holiday.
That is
Linking Words
 why they start searching for alternatives abroad.
For instance
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, in Uzbekistan, there are only a couple of tourist attractions, that are in the mountains. Because of that,
people
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 who live there often spend their holidays in other
countries
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, like Egypt and Turkey
Countries
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, that have
this
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 type of situation, struggle with economic problems. When local inhabitants travel to other regions to spend their holidays there, the local economy runs out of money. The reason for
that is
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tourism
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, which does not bring enough money to the government budget.
For example
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, in Nepal, there is an economic crisis, because
people
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, who live there, do not have enough
places
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, where they are able to rest and they travel abroad to spend their holiday, That affects the budget and the
country
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 loses 70% of its income from
tourism
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 every year
To conclude
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, I think, that the main reason for
people
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 to spend their holidays abroad is insufficient choice of attractions. All
countries
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, where local
tourism
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 is not developed enough, face economic problems. It causes very low income from
tourism
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 and serious problems with the economy in general

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further with more specific examples or data to support your points. This would enhance your analysis of the impact on local economies.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure and linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. This would improve coherence and cohesion in your writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the topic effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points well, particularly with regard to specific countries.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • budget airlines
  • international travel
  • social media
  • foreign cultures
  • economic prosperity
  • luxury activities
  • exposure
  • different cultures
  • work-related opportunities
  • climate preferences
  • tropical countries
  • global peace
  • educational opportunities
  • leisure travel
  • safer travel experiences
  • local touristic attractions
  • economic boost
  • overcrowding
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • seasonal tourism
  • local businesses
  • authentic experiences
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