In some countries young people have little leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays a lot of young people in different countries face difficulties related to much hard work in their studies which lead to
little
Suggestion
less
time
for leisure activities. I am going to write about the causes and solutions connected to the issue.
Firstly
, several subjects
are taught
Suggestion
is taught
at universities which are not connected to the students’ field or they have already studied them at schools.
Besides
their field subjects, they have to spend extra
time
studying the books or doing research for the topics which will not be useful in their career in the future.
For instance
, I had history and mathematics subjects at university,
however I
Accept comma addition
however, I
do not need any of them at my workplace.
Secondly
, some tutors give too much homework that students try hard to meet the deadline, where they end up not having enough
time
to have a rest.
Finally
, in some countries students are supposed to attend all lessons with
limited absent
Accept comma addition
limited, absent
marks, even though in
developed
Suggestion
developing
countries there is no obligation to attend every lesson. I believe that there are some ways to eliminate pressure on students and let them have extra
time
to spend for themselves. In order to minimize non-field
subjects
Suggestion
subject's
education system should take some measures. One of them is to take out these subjects from
curriculum
Suggestion
the curriculum
. It would result in having less lessons and more free
time
for students.
Furthermore
, too much paperwork could be replaced with projects and presentations in groups or peers, since as future employees or employer they are not expected to write paperwork at their workplaces. Giving projects to students would make them to spend more
time
with their
groupmates
Suggestion
group mates
which
also
takes pressure and makes them feel more relaxed.
Finally
, being able not to attend all the classes, students could have a choice to decide which classes to attend and when it is suitable for them.
For instance
, if a student didn’t feel well, he would be able to stay at home and get recovered. To conclude, I assume that, the solutions mentioned above would create great opportunities for young people to spend more
time
with their friends doing
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
activities.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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