IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals: during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods
Some people argue that we no longer remember the original meaning of festivals, and these people treat them as opportunities to have fun. While I agree that enjoyment seems to be the priority during these festival periods. I do not agree that people have forgotten what these festivals mean. On the one hand, traditional or religious festivals have certainly become times for celebrations. In the UK, Christmas is a good example of these festival periods when people most concerned with shopping, giving and receiving presents, decorating their homes, and enjoying traditional meals with their families.
Moreover
, most people look forward to Christmas as a holiday period, rather than a time to practise religion. We can see the same behaviour in non-religious festivals,
such
 as Bonfire Nights. People more likely associate
this
 occasion by making fires, watching firework display, and attending events in their local parks.
In other words
, enjoyment seems to be everyone's a primary goal during these festival times.
However
, I disagree that people have forgotten the underlying meaning of these festivals. In the UK primary school, children tend to learn in detail about the reasons for celebrating Christmas, Easter and a variety of festivals in other religions.
For instance
, in late December, children sing Christmas songs which have a religious content, and they
also
 perform various nativity play on Jesus's birth.
In addition
 to
this
, families
also
 play a vital role in passing knowledge of religion's greater significance on to the
next
 generations. It is true same for traditional religions
such
 as Bonfire Nights and Halloween, where people usually learn about these festivals at an early age. In conclusion,
although
 people, mainly consider festivals as a time to enjoy themselves, I believe that they still aware why we celebrate these festivals.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
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