In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society ?

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It's true that most of
parents
Suggestion
the parents
'd rather their children spent more
time
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on studying and cut down free
time
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. While I accept that
this
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statement offers lots of benefits; I believe that it
also
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has several drawbacks. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why studying both in and after school is positive
to
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for
children.
First
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of all, knowledge is
valuable so
Accept comma addition
valuable, so
studying for a long
time
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will help children grow up better.
For instance
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, acquiring knowledge about some subjects at school
such
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ad Maths, Physics, Sciences or Arts,...
especially
Suggestion
Especially
English can bring more good opportunities to their career in the future. The
next
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reason is that spending less free
tim
an instance or single occasion for some event
time
means that it can restrict students to overuse the Internet, which have detrimental implication on their physical and mental
helath
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
heath
. On the Internet, some violent and bad news can distort their way of thinking about their families, friends and society.
On the other hand
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, paralleling with these conducive effects, learning too much without relaxing
also
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affect juveniles badly.
Firstly
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, less free
time
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can make them to develop unequally. They may have the lack of soft skills like communication skill or have butterflies
on
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in
their stomach when speaking publicly.
As a result
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, they will find it difficult to adapt to
this
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modern world.
Last
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but not least, immersing themselves in studying all day long may affect their feeling. In my
highschool
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high school
, there was a girl killing herself due to
lypemania
Suggestion
after
bring
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bringing
overwhelmed with learning for a long
time
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. In conclusion, after weighing the pros and cons, I would say that juveniles should devote
time
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to expand their knowledge and chill out appropriately.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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