IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that we should not encourage sports games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #games #schools #competition #cooperation
In
this
 day and age, many the forms of various
sport
Suggestion
sports
 is a dominating our modern society and playing or watching sports
game
 is taken for granted. Few individuals believe that playing sports games at schools should not inspire due to
they
objective case of they
them
 seems to be more competition than cooperation. I personally disagree
this
 premise for several reasons. It could be lead to make teamwork.
In addition
, it is likely to become a deep relationship with classmates.
First
 and foremost, most of sports are encouraged to the team sprit many youth through the sporting
game
.
For example
,
sport
 is required to play in a team, which means they should decide to divide into group excluding
sole
Accept comma addition
sole, sport
sport
 like golf,
as a
result in
Accept comma addition
result, in
 many students might feel being a sense of belonging by playing games with their buddy. It
also
 would a great of leading the social relationship with pupils. On top of that, sporting
game
 has a play role in making a responsibility by playing together. As a case in point, scientists report that children with experience physical activities
such
 as soccer, baseball outweigh the benefits rather than those who with do not have experience them. The former is a good way to make a friend and well-know how to share with other people.
On the other hand
, while it is undeniable that
sport
 is made of a competitive structure. As a consequence, it may influence many pupils easily because of the lack of ability to judge.
Therefore
, sporting games could be caused negative factors.
Nevertheless
, I think that it is more beneficial than that. In a nutshell, it it hard to predict how sporting
game
 have an influence for children, it is a best way the playing
game
 without competition is education how to play harmony with friends properly.
Submitted by msh0820 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: