The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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day and
ages
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age
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, obesity is counted as the number one
treat
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threat
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for
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to
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human being health and in some patient’s cause of death. There has been much discussion revolving around the issue
whether
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of whether
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introducing more
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sport
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sports
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activity lessons in the school programs could be
and
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an
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effective way to control
this
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problem. I agree that
this
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task plays a key role
for
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in
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any individual’s health. Undoubtedly, one beneficial way to control
overweight
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the overweight
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problem is doing
sport
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. Adding more physical
education
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lessons to student curriculum at schools
lead
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leads
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to
get
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getting
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used to it as
daily
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a daily
the daily
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routine, so
n
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in
their whole life people cannot turn a blind eye to
sport
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and .
According to
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University
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the University
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of
England
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England's
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(UOE) annual survey in 2020, approximately 90% of people who are slim at their
mid age
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mid-age
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, had routine
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sport
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sports
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programs
in
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during
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their school time.
Therefore
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it is well worth
to prevent
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preventing
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fatness in adulthood by including more
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sport
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sports
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education
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in youth.
Furthermore
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, another reason that we need to take into consideration is that doing
sport
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is associated with
healthy
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a healthy
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diet. Educating students with more and more physical lessons
,
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apply
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will give them the opportunity and ability to maintain a healthy balanced diet.
Mr.
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Mr
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Ali Smith, an expert consulter revealed that any individual who
are
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is
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gained
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Correct article usage
a sport
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sport
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sports
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education
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hardly ever eat junk
foods
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food
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.
Thus
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, to avoid getting fat, it is necessary to learn how to eat
healthy
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healthily
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.
To sum up
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I am of the mind that
more
Correct article usage
the more
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physical activity
education
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in schools,
more
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the more
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health it will bring to people’s lives in future by getting used to
do
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doing
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sport
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in whole life and eating healthy foods.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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