Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Thanks to the technological and medical breakthroughs, people who have serious illnesses
such
as cardiovascular diseases and pulmonary problems can be treated properly.
As a result
, the average life expectancy has been raised significantly, which has sparked
long-lasting argument
Suggestion
a long-lasting argument
among people about whether the government should push the retirement age to a higher level. From my perspective, I totally agree with
this
suggestion.
First
and foremost, it is beneficial for individuals to lengthen their work period. One of the visible advantages is that the senior workers would be able to earn more to support their families’ livings. There is a fact that the pension that a senior citizen receives is much lower than their official wage.
Furthermore
, scientists have proved that letting the brain work frequently can help people avoid serious mental illness like dementia and amnesia. Indeed, going to work daily, the elderly, especially white-
color
a band that fits around the neck and is usually folded over
collar
workers, will be able to maintain not only a sound mind but
also
a happy and meaningful life when talking to and sharing experiences with younger colleagues.
Secondly
, raising retirement age could benefit the society as a whole, especially in terms of financial matter. Every year, the number of citizens retiring increases dramatically while the figure for those who are at working ages falls significantly.
Consequently
, the government has to spend a huge amount of national budget on pension annually.
Besides
, the increasing number of pensioners has put
the heavier
Suggestion
the heavy
the heaviest
financial burden on younger generations’ shoulders as they have to pay a higher tax for the government to subsidize social welfare, particularly for old people.
Therefore
, permitting people to retire later at their ages could not only ensure the national
budget but
Accept comma addition
budget, but
also
ease the burden that young people are bearing. In conclusion, I do believe that increasing the age of retirement could benefit both individuals and society at large.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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