IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work
It is a fact that health is a wealth. Without the well-being, people are not able to obtain fitness goals. Doctors reckon that individuals are being demolished their health by eating lots of fast food.
Therefore
, certain masses believe that educate people can solve
this
 problem.
However
, others notion education is not likely to work. There are many viewpoints behind
this
 phenomenon, which I would like to explain and add my own opinion in the below paragraphs. Since the junk food comes in the era of modern, more and more people tend to eat it. Because of
this
, they are becoming obesity, which has become an alarming issue around the world.
For example
, most children prefer to take foods as fast. Fast meal become to the children. Due to
this
, they come to deal many quandaries.
Such
 as, sitting, taking exercise as well as studying.
Moreover
, educate people can tackle
this
. People know very well about the situation of the world.
For instance
, individuals always want to study long time for increasing the knowledge. They love to read different type of magazine about healthy lifestyle. He or she goes to morning walk, which is a major part. So, I suggest that educate people are able to reduce the problem. On the flip side, there is no rule that education helps to reduce
this
.
Firstly
, people have become very busy. They want to earn lots of money for the better life of their family members. They have no time cook the feed at home.
Hence
, they go to market for purchasing a fast meal, which is easily available. So I judge that educate people have to eat. To conclude, even though junk food is the best way for making, yet it has many disadvantages. Which is generating enough of the pros. So I deem that, it is not the only responsibility of the individuals, but
also
 the government. Because, the government can be banned these kinds of meal.
Also
, I advise to the people for feeding home made foods.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: