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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Unemployment is a persistent issue in many countries, and governments often provide financial support to long-term
job
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seekers
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. Some people believe that
individuals
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 receiving
such
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 benefits should be required to participate in voluntary
work
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 to contribute to society.
While
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this
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 idea has certain advantages, I partly agree with it, provided that it is implemented fairly and flexibly. On the one hand, requiring unemployed
individuals
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 to engage in voluntary
work
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 can benefit both society and the
individuals
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 themselves. From a societal perspective, it helps communities by providing additional support in areas
such
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 as public services, charities, and local projects.
For example
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,
job
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seekers
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 could assist in food banks, community centres, or environmental clean-up initiatives.
Moreover
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,
this
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 requirement may encourage
individuals
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 to develop a sense of responsibility and maintain a routine, which can be lost during long periods of unemployment. From the individual’s point of view, voluntary
work
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 can
also
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 enhance employability. It allows people to gain valuable skills,
work
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 experience, and references, which may improve their chances of finding a
job
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.
For instance
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, someone volunteering in an office setting could develop communication and organisational skills that are highly valued by employers. In
this
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 way, volunteering acts as a stepping stone back into the workforce.
On the other hand
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, making voluntary
work
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 compulsory may not always be appropriate. Some long-term
job
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seekers
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 face genuine challenges
such
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 as physical or mental health issues, caregiving responsibilities, or a lack of access to transportation. Forcing
such
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individuals
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 to
work
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 without pay could be seen as unfair and even exploitative.
Additionally
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, if not properly managed, compulsory volunteering might replace paid jobs, reducing employment opportunities rather than creating them. In my opinion, a balanced approach is essential. Governments should encourage and support voluntary
work
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 among benefit recipients , but avoid making it strictly mandatory for everyone.
Instead
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, participation could be tailored to individual circumstances, with exemptions for those facing legitimate difficulties. In conclusion,
while
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 requiring long-term
job
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seekers
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 to engage in voluntary
work
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 can provide social and personal benefits, it must be applied carefully to avoid unfairness.
Therefore
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, I believe that
such
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 initiatives should be encouraged rather than enforced.

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task response
For task response: your answer is clear and you give both sides, but you can make your own view even more strong in each main part.
task response
For task response: your examples are good, but they are a bit general. Add one more real or clear example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay is easy to follow and each part has one clear main idea. To make it even better, use a few more linking words inside paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the order of ideas is good, but you can make some points connect more smoothly by using words like also, because, so, and however.
task response
For task response: you answer the question fully and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
For task response: you explain why voluntary work can help both the community and job seekers.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: each paragraph stays on one main point, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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