Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom

Nowadays children have more

freedom

than their previous generations. Some people believe children’s abundant

freedom

could contribute to their

misbehaviors

improper or wicked or immoral behavior

misbehaviour

and problems in personalities. From my perspective,

this

voice exaggerates

freedom

’s potential negative influence on children’s development.

On the contrary

, only if children are given sufficient

freedom

, can they develop healthy personalities. The opponent of children’s ‘too much’

freedom

largely based their views on a

misbelief

that children will not be well-behaved unless strict restrictions are placed on them.

However

, over-rigorous and less free education may exert enormous pressure on children’s minds, giving rise to more

misbehaviors

improper or wicked or immoral behavior

misbehaviour

misbehaviours

misbehaviours'

ironically

in contrast

with the initial intentions to impose rigid regulations on children. More profoundly, in the long run, stifling educational style depriving children of necessary

freedom

is likely to impair children’s self-esteem or cause rebellious personalities, as many psychological studies suggested.

Instead

, for their healthy development, children should be entitled to enjoy their rights of

freedom

. If given greater autonomy in their own life, children will learn to deal with problems by themselves.

As a result

, their independence will have a great increase, which gives them an edge in competitive circumstances compared to the children used to relying on their parents.

In addition

, children with more

freedom

are easier to develop critical thinking skills because they are accustomed to considering issues with their intelligence.

Therefore

, these children are less liable to succumb to authorities’ opinions without thinking independently, and most of them would show more initiatives and originalities than those nurtured in less free circumstances. In conclusion,

freedom

is vital for a child’s development. Parents should give them adequate

freedom

to make sure they become independent and mentally robust people.

Submitted by jiangxuncao on Wed May 13 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?