IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on the same jobs and the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and the ways in which people in the future can prepare for this rapid change in the workplace.

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There is a widely held view that people are switching jobs very frequently at the same time the type of
work
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 is
also
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 changing. It will illustrate some possible reasons behind
this
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 problem and solution with my own opinion. On the one hand, in
this
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 modern technological era, all the companies have to compete with their opponent to survive on the market. At the time, they have to think about
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new strategy to reach their targeted audience , especially in the marketing policy and the way of service.
Hence
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,
employees
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 are recruited for some particular responsibilities, they have to be involved in several types of new projects of the company.
For example
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, Daraz, one of the major e-commerce sites in Bangladesh, recruits people to
work
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 online, because to reach more consumers their
employees
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 have to
work
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out doors
Correct your spelling
outdoors
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.
As a result
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, most of the
employees
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 cannot continue the
work
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 for a long period.
On the other hand
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, at the time of applying for a job, candidates should be asked to include their personal interests in the curriculum vitae. Based on what the employer can offer a suitable job to a candidate
according to
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 their links.
Moreover
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,
employees
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 should be entertained by the company at least once a month, and they ought to be paid extra for the
work
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 which they have not been employed for.
For example
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, government
employees
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 receive additional pay for any kind of extra duty which makes them not feel like leaving their job. In conclusion, I personally believe that senior bosses have to look after their junior colleagues and take the necessary steps to feel them cheer at
work
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your intention to discuss causes and solutions; however, try to refine your thesis statement to more precisely reflect your main points. For example, you might mention specific causes and the strategies people can employ to adapt.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence, ensure that each paragraph clearly transitions to the next. You can use linking phrases to better connect your ideas. For instance, using phrases like 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' can help to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While you provided some examples, it would strengthen your argument to include more specific details or statistics, especially in your main points about job shifts and preparation strategies in the future. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for causes and solutions, which helps in organizing your thoughts.
task achievement
You used an example of Daraz to illustrate the changing nature of work, which adds a practical element to your discussion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • globalization
  • flexible working conditions
  • remote work
  • freelance work
  • economic fluctuations
  • upskilling
  • lifelong learning
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • networking
  • personal branding
  • technological advancements
  • dynamic work environments
  • job security
  • employment patterns
  • cross-border trade
  • technological trends
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