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Band 4.5

Some people think that it s beneficial for children to do paid work, while other think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

#people #children #work
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Some people think that
it s
it is
it's
its
 beneficial for children to do paid
work
Use synonyms
, while
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid
work
Use synonyms
? It is considered by some people that a paid
work
Use synonyms
 is a useful experience for children, while there are others who believe that it can be detrimental to
child’s welfare
Suggestion
the child’s welfare
a child’s welfare
. Children labour can help them earn money and develop
life
Use synonyms
 skills, but there are some drawbacks that need to be taken into account. On the one side, there are some advantages that can be found. One evident benefit is that the child will have a monthly
income
Accept comma addition
income, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
 he can easily aid his parents.
For example
Linking Words
, in many developing countries destitute families must have their children
work
Use synonyms
 alongside their parents to ensure an additional wage to the
family which
Accept comma addition
family, which
 will
consequently
Linking Words
 lighten the financial burden and flourish them with basic human
needs namely
Suggestion
needs, namely
 food, shelter and medicine. Another reason that working children
is
Suggestion
are
 advantageous is that they will develop useful skills which are essential for future adult
life
Use synonyms
 and workplace
.
Accept space
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are obvious disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children are
vulnerable
Accept comma addition
vulnerable, thus
thus
Linking Words
 they can be taken advantage of and exploited easily. One clear example, in some countries children suffer from inhumane
work
Use synonyms
 conditions since the child’s labour laws are shamelessly violated
ore
a unit of surface area equal to 100 square meters
are
 not enforced which will lead to a disastrous impact on his physical and mental
wellbeing
Suggestion
well being
. Another issue, child
labour
Suggestion
labours
 robs children of their
innocent childhood
Suggestion
innocence, childhood
innocence childhood
 which should be a period of
life
Use synonyms
 to enjoy to the fullest without holding responsibilities and facing the harsh realities of
adult’s
Suggestion
an adult’s life
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
while
paid
Suggestion
paying
work
Use synonyms
provide
Suggestion
provides
 children with money and useful skills
,
Accept space
,
 it deprives them from living their childhood as well as expose them to unethical working conditions.
Submitted by rimaalziab on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
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