The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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These days the amount of people suffering from obesity is increasing enormously due to which the health care organizations across the globe is under huge stress. Experts throughout both developing and developed nations believe that the best approach to deal with

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overgrowing epidemic is to introduce physical education lessons in the academic agenda of the children. Personally, I strongly advocate the presented view. In my opinion, adding daily sport activities will definitely help people to maintain a healthy body mass index. In

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essay, I shall examine a number of studies to support the presented viewpoint.

To begin

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with, the benefits of physical education in schools are far-reaching. It enhances both student's physical health and academic performance.

For instance

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, a recent study published by the Oxford University demonstrated that, the children who spend 60 minutes everyday either exercising or playing any game are less likely to suffer from chronic health issues

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as diabetes and have 75% more concentration levels than those who do not indulge.

As a result

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, physical education will enhance people's lifestyle and will

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help to develop a lifelong healthy behaviour patter in the younger generation.

In addition

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, incorporating more sport sessions for students in the schools will probably result in children developing an interest in exercising, which may pass on to their parents and other family members. Consecutively, parents will involve themselves in various athletic activities in order to encourage their offspring.

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, with both parents and children involved, in the near future,

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issue will soon vanish from the society. In conclusion,

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is a topic which time after time results in a heated colloquy among the society, but from the aforementioned arguments, I firmly believe that adding sport classes could be extremely positive and justifiable for the benefits it bring.

Submitted by gknaruto608 on Sun May 24 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? What other measures do you think might be effective?