More and more people today are using computers and electronic devices to access information. Therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the rapid development of technology, it is observed that using physical books, magazines and newspapers is not a popular way to get
information
.
Overall
, I firmly agree with
this
view as I think that there are various ways to get
information
via the Internet and so on. On the one hand, there is
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
show examples
that
paper
-based instruments can remain in their state. First of all, there are
people
who are not used to the latest technology.
For example
, elderly
people
lack the ability to use the Internet so they will likely attain limited and outdated
information
.
This
can lead to a digital divide.
Secondly
, studying with printed
information
is a more friendly way to educate. Students studying with their tablet or laptop can easily lose concentration
due to
the massive amount of facts that are given by the Internet. It can
also
make
people
's eyes tired, eventually causing students to study less than usual.
On the other hand
, with a greater chance, that electronic-based
information
will take over
paper
-based
information
. First and foremost, nowadays the world is trying to achieve a paperless society. To create
paper
,
people
must cut down trees and it causes deforestation. Environmental disasters are unavoidable if
people
keep using tons of
paper
.
Moreover
, it is handier than
paper
. These days, most
people
carry their own electronics. In one device, they can hold millions of
information
and it is much easier to carry around.
Also
, it is more affordable than buying all the
paper
books or magazines. In conclusion, I believe
paper
-based
information
will be replaced to protect our environment and to use more comfortable tools.
Thus
,
this
trend should be encouraged to stay environmentally friendly and comfortable.
Submitted by dean130trbl on

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more varied examples and deeper insights into how electronic devices surpass paper-based media beyond the environment and practicality, to enrich your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it support that idea.
General
Remember to proofread to catch and correct any minor grammatical errors for a more polished submission.
Task Achievement
You've clearly taken a position and stayed consistent with your viewpoint throughout the essay, providing a structured argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, providing a clear overview and closure to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've used relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness of your essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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