Friendships have become more important than family relationships.

Both family

relationship

and fr

ienship a

the state of being friends (or friendly)

friendship

re considered to be special to everyone. There is a lot of debate about which is more important. Many people believe that family is more important than friends.

However

, other people argue

also

place family

relationship

under

friendship

. In

this

essay, I will analysis all of aspects of

this

argument. On the one hand, some people put their family in the

first

place because family is very important. The

first

reason is that family members are the people who wi

llsupport a

Suggestion

will support

nd protect us unconditionally. At the time that we need help, they ar

e always stay b

Suggestion

always stayed

always stay

have always stayed

eside us.

In addition

this

, they

also

share with you their experience.

For example

, in fa

mily,

Suggestion

the family

our grandparents ta

lk a

Suggestion

talked

bout their life in the past.

Then

, we can know the difference between the before lifestyle and present lifestyle. Mother can give us some advices when we are in di

fficult situation.

Suggestion

a difficult situation

difficult situations

When we have to face up with hard things, the love of family will become a strong motivation to encourage us.

In contrast

, some people think that

friendship

is more important as it is short lasting.We can make

friendship

with your classmates, colleagues at school and office.

However

, when we graduate or change our job, the friendships can be ended.

Secondly

, the distance of generations in fa

mily c

Suggestion

the family

a family

an create different thinking.

Therefore

, it is believed that friends can understand us better than family members. Be

causes o

Suggestion

Because

f the same ages, we can have them same feeling with our friends.

Moreover

, to some people, making friends is a new world, they can have many good ex

perience t

Suggestion

experienced

ime, learn and explore many challenges.

Finally

, we often have a thought that our family members are always at home to wait for us while it is arduous to have good friends.

This

makes us think that

friendship

is more important than fa

mily

Suggestion

family relationships

the family relationship

relationship

. In my view, fa

mily

Suggestion

the family relationship

relationship

is more important than

friendship

because it is difficult to find really good friends. Fa

mily i

Suggestion

The family

s on

ly place w

Suggestion

the only place

here spends unconditioned love to

Suggestion

with

s and accepts th

ing no m

Accept comma addition

thing, no

atter what we do in the past or in the present.

Submitted by xoz52894 on Tue May 26 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Friendships have become more important than family relationships.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem

Some people think that they have the right to use as much as fresh water they want, others believe government should control the use of water as it limited sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Water resources around the world are falling deficient. Analyse the possible reasons and provide your suggestion ?