"Some think spending a lot on birthday celebrations and weddings is a waste of money. Others think it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

#think #birthday #celebrations #weddings #waste #money #people #society

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Some

people

believe that spending a lot of money on birthdays and weddings is a waste,

while

others argue that

such

celebrations

are important for individuals and society.

While

some claim these

events

lead to financial waste, others assert that they foster connections and allow

people

to celebrate special moments.

This

essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I think these

events

hold significant value. On the one hand, extravagant

celebrations

can be seen as a waste of money. First and foremost, spending heavily on parties often leads to substantial expenses for food, decorations, and entertainment, all for just one night.

This

can result in financial burdens and even debt for many individuals.

Additionally

, excessive spending on

celebrations

can divert funds away from saving for essential future needs,

such

as education or home purchases.

As a result

, many argue that it is more prudent to spend less on parties, which can help young

people

prepare for their future plans.

On the other hand

celebrations

play a crucial role in helping

people

feel accomplished and fostering social connections.

Events

like birthdays and weddings mark significant milestones in

people

's lives, allowing them to feel proud and connected to their loved ones.

For instance

, a wedding brings together family and friends, strengthening their bonds and creating lasting memories.

Furthermore

, these gatherings provide a sense of value and support, which positively impacts individuals' mental health and relationships.

Consequently

, many believe that the emotional benefits of

such

celebrations

justify the expenses involved. In conclusion, both views present valid reasons for consideration.

While

it is true that extravagant

celebrations

can strain finances, they

also

offer essential emotional and social benefits.

Although

we should be mindful of our spending, I firmly believe that the positive effects of these

events

far outweigh the negatives.

Submitted by caroot on Sun Oct 13 2024

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relevant specific examples

Include a specific example to illustrate the financial strain of extravagant celebrations. For instance, mention a scenario where a family struggles with debt after a lavish wedding.

coherence cohesion

While the essay structure is clear, consider adding a concluding sentence to each paragraph to reinforce the main idea, providing a clearer transition to the next point.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-rounded, making your argument easy to follow. Great job!

complete response

Your essay covers both views thoroughly and clearly presents your opinion. This addresses the task effectively!

logical structure

The logical flow of ideas enhances readability and ensures the essay is easy to understand.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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