IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Government invest in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #services
These days, the
government
 spend a lot of budget on public services
such
 as health facilities and infrastructure but
also
 in the arts.
Although
 I agree, the
government
 should invest good amount of resources on public services, but I do not think that spending
money
 on the arts should be completely neglected. There are several reasons for allocating large amount of
money
 in public services.
First
 and foremost, spending
money
 on public services
such
 as building roads, tools, and health facility is essential, as these things have a great impact on the standard of living of people of
society
.
For example
, if
government
Suggestion
the government
 does not spend
money
 on health care facility,
then
 our country will not be able to cure patients from certain diseases or pandemics, which requires infrastructure and research.
Similarly
, if adequate budget will not be spent on education facility
such
 as schools and colleges, certainly the development of nations would be impacted. Underprivileged sections of
society
 will be greatly affected as most of them are totally dependent on public services.
However
, it does not mean that expenditure on recreational activities should not be considered. Arts plays a major role in any country's economy.
For example
, if people involved in music industries or actors of theatre's will not make profit,
as a result
 the significance of skills and talent of artists will be completely vanish from
society
 and there will be no artist left to entertain the public.
Also
, they will reap some profit, the
government
 will be equally benefited by getting a huge amount of tax collected from them. In conclusion,
Although
 the benefits of spending resources on the public services are essential for
government
 as they impact the standard of living of humans, spending
money
 on the arts holds similar significant value in our
society
.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: