The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period

The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period
The table illustrates how many people visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Ashdown Museum either year before or the year after
Correct article usage
the restructuration
show examples
restructuration
Replace the word
restructuring
show examples
,
while
the pie charts demonstrate
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
of replying
Change preposition
to this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
questtionarrie
Correct your spelling
questionaries
Change preposition
of weither
show examples
weither
Correct your spelling
either
whether
satisfied or dissatisfied when
vistiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
go to
this
meseum
Correct your spelling
museum
, during the same two periods.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
the most
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
proportion
of visitor satisfaction surveys before
refurbishment
is experienced by
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
;
however
, it is shown by
dissatisfied
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
after the
refurbishment
.
Whereas
the percentage of dissatisfaction
register
Correct subject-verb agreement
registers
show examples
a decrease, the
proportion
of satisfaction
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
a rise. As can be seen from the graph,
Correct article usage
the dissatisfed
show examples
dissatisfed
Correct your spelling
dissatisfied
rate of visitor result of surveys before
refurbishment
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
top in
rankings
Correct article usage
the rankings
show examples
with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two-fifths (40%), followed by
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
which has a rate of approximately a
third
(30%).
Moreover
,
satisfied
Add an article
the satisfied
show examples
proportion
of visitor
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
of surveys has
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
trend after restructuration, which
account
Change the verb form
accounts
show examples
for 40%.
On the other hand
, the percentage of
dissatisfed
Correct your spelling
dissatisfied
during the same two periods -
year
Add an article
a year
the year
show examples
before
refurbishment
and
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
after
refurbishment
- decrease substantially from 40% to 15%, the
proportion
of very dissatisfied,
however
, decrease slowly,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stood at 10% and 5% respectively.
Further
, the rate of
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
from before
refurbishment
to after
refurbishment
has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
growth between 30% and 40%, respectively.
Submitted by MERVE DEMİR on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, refurbishment with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: