IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe that globalization is leading to culture of individual country being lost. What can be done to protect a society traditional values?

Due to globalization, many countries are losing its cultural value and encouraging foreign things into daily activities. In order to protect own traditional values, the
government
Use synonyms
 should encourage local musicians, writers and in
school
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 foreign
language
Use synonyms
 should be made compulsory in the secondary
level
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. It is true that because of globalization most countries are supporting foreign talents and due to
this
Linking Words
 own traditional talent is not encouraged. To protect our own traditional talents, the
government
Use synonyms
 should subsidize and encourage local writers, musicians, dancers and costume makers.
As a result
Linking Words
, our own country talent is utilized and maintained.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent article published by the Times of India in January 2020 revealed that there is an increase in the number of tourists in Nepal to see their talents because its
government
Use synonyms
 are supporting them by fund so as to maintain Nepali dances, poems and costumes. Another possible solution to protect own traditional values is that foreign
language
Use synonyms
 should be learnt in the secondary
school
Use synonyms
. If a child learns foreign languages when he or she is secondary
level
Use synonyms
, they will have better command in own native
language
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Chinese
school
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, Chinese Local
Language
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 is compulsory from the entry
level
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 of
school
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 and other foreign
language
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,
such
Linking Words
 as English and French are learnt in the higher secondary
level
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.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted in the command and fluency with their people in Chinese
Language
Use synonyms
 only. In conclusion, only when the
government
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 support and subsidies the local talents and
school
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 prolong the learning of another
language
Use synonyms
 in secondary
level
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, will the problem of protecting own traditional values be solved.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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