Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #cars #motorbikes

Transportation is an essential part of the nation.

Although

, there are many incidents happening on the runway because of lack of knowledge of driving rules and so on.

Thus

, some people deem that the government should limit the

age

who can

drive

some vehicles.

However

, I am not totally satisfied with given concern and gives my detailed explanation

further

in an essay. My

first

and foremost, the point regarding to give phenomenon is Increased consumption of alcohol among adults cause most of the road accidents.

For instance

, a report published by a local news channel shows that about 40% accident are recorded because of drunk and

drive

However

, The administration should make strict legislation on that.

In addition

, Automotive manufacturing company's should Invent some technology.

Thus

, vehicles can detect the alcohol level in a person's body and if it exceeds than the deadline, Car automatically may stop the ignition system of an engine.

Furthermore

, the government should increase the penalty of who commit

this

or make the prison sentence for

such

irrelevant behaviour.

On the other hand

, assigning

age

restriction to

drive

. Children under

age

of 18 can not

drive

because the maturity level at that

age

is not enough to

drive

on the road.

Moreover

, the government should

also

limit the

age

of elderly people who has less vision and suffering from heart related disease.

Furthermore

, authorities should make some pre-driving coaching classes without that no one can get a licence.

As a result

, the new drivers can get enough knowledge how to safe

drive

may decrease the amount of accidents. To summerize, From my point of view only limit the

age

can not increase road safety.

However

, the authorities should make some strict law to prevent

this

Submitted by pd57062 on Tue Jun 09 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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