Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Happiness is important for each and every humans to lead a better life. Human beings believe that enjoyment is based on external factors, whereas another individual think that pleasure are natural phenomenon. In my opinion,

this

is completely true, that joy is responsible by their own lifestyle.

To Begin

with, human being has a tendency to think that joy is based on external factors.

For example

, individual have a thought that, by doing yoga or exercise will help them for joy and can lead a great life.

Similarly

, they

also

think that, one of the key feature of satisfaction is shopping, which keeps them pleasure.

For instance

, youth tend to shop a lot and feel cheerful.

Hence

, they think external factors can only provide prosperity.

On the other hand

, peace of mind is a factor which is being felt by each and every individual.To illustrate, many elders think that well-being can be seen by seeing others happy,

such

as their children and grandchild.

Furthermore

, few humans believe that, they felt pleasure by gifting to the orphanage.

For example

, many people celebrate their kid birthday with them, and

also

give gifts to them as well.

Thus they

Accept comma addition

Thus, they

feel

this

is one form of prosperity. To Summarize, optimism is a key factor for human beings, so it can be found by themselves and helping others.

However

, few individual believe that

this

can only be by external factors. In my opinion bliss is based on natural lifestyle and lead a simple beautiful lifestyle.

Submitted by Latha on Tue Jun 09 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that the main influence on young people's diet is advertising rather than family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Social media advertising has influenced young targets on diet more than their own family and friends. From my perspective, though peers can alter some food habits, I agree that advertising indeed affects how young people make their dietary choices.
<4
band
An increasing number of children are overweight, which could result in many problems when they grow older, both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?
Presently, there is a rise in children who are obese, which derives from alack of exercise and an unhealthy diet. However, this can be tackled by teaching children about healthcare, including participating in more activity and having a balanced diet.
6
band
Some people think that too much money and time have been allocated to scientific research. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times, universities and research centres regularly conduct scientific projects in diverse fields, which are really expensive and take a lot of time. Based on these issues, some believe the excessive cost should be allocated to another field instead. While a couple of experiments seem inconsequential and even fail, I personally believe that the research remains essential, because it can support future findings that solve the existing problems and improve the life quality of humans.
4.5
band
Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that student ought to pay full fee during their studying due to the priority of university education is individual not society. The writer disagree with this statement and this essay illustrate the reasons why.
8
band
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it didn't work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager in your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain what happened when you called the shop. say what you would like the manger to do
My name is Khashayar Partovi and I am one of your customers. I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with my purchase. I bought a brand new microwave from your shop last Sunday but when I decided to use it and plugged into the electricity it did not work. Also, I checked the wire but nothing seemed wrong.

Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the main influence on young people's diet is advertising rather than family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

An increasing number of children are overweight, which could result in many problems when they grow older, both in terms of their health and healthcare costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Some people think that too much money and time have been allocated to scientific research. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it didn't work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager in your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain what happened when you called the shop. say what you would like the manger to do