Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Some people believe that

music

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will make people from different cultures and ages to stick together. In my opinion, I agree that

music

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will bring the unity to each other because

music

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is universal and give the same chance for people to listen. It is clear that

music

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can be

listened

detected or perceived by the sense of hearing

heard

in all the countries around the

world

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. Every country has their own type of

music

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, either general

music

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or cultural

music

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Likewise

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, for the general

music

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such

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as pop, R&B, jazz, classic are provided in every country,

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thus

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thus, although

although

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every

people

Suggestion

person

have

Suggestion

has

difference

Suggestion

different

cultures, they can still listen to the

music

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For instance

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, in developing countries

such

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as Indonesia and India, which have different backgrounds of

life including

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life, including

the culture, but

young

Suggestion

younger

generations in both of the countries tend to like the same pop

music

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from America.

Therefore

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music

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is universal for every person in the

world

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without the exception.

On the other hand

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music

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also make

Suggestion

also makes

the same chance for people in different ages to listen. There is no a restriction

Suggestion

music

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for its listener, all the genres can be

listened

detected or perceived by the sense of hearing

heard

by all people.

For example

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, pop

music

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can be listened for both young and old generations. In Indonesia, students and parents have the same occasion to

listen

perceive (sound) via the auditory sense

hear

the same

music

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and song and it does not need the permission from the other people. In conclusion,

music

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is the essential part

Suggestion

the

world

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, because there is no specific rule to enjoy the

music

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Likewise

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music

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is not the sensitive part of

life

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life, such

such

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as religion, nationality, and language.

Thus

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, it can bring the togetherness for all the people around the

world

Use synonyms

Submitted by Nora on Thu Jun 11 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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