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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions
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It is commonly believed by some people that violent sports should not be allowed to broadcast on public or to participate in an international
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sport
Suggestion
sporting
 event as they could lead to conflict. In my opinion, I agree that aggressiveness from watching
sport
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 competition can cause negative relationship within community and between countries.
To begin
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 with, brutal sports
in
Suggestion
on
 television can induce young generation to replicate. In the other words, children can learn and copy those actions and behaviours from media and use
this
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 against others when they have disagreed.
This
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 is because children can easily access to TV program than in the past and no parents control and inspect on the content whether
it
it is
it's
 suitable for youngsters or not. Research from Imperial College London revealed that teenagers, who flighted to other kids in schools, have experienced in viewing the
sport
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 using
violence
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.
Therefore
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, in order to decrease the
violence
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 rate among teenagers, governments need to ensure that
Use synonyms
violence
Suggestion
violent
 sports are restricted to only adults and that means to put the law not to show those brutal games through the media. Another important point is that internal
sport
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 which has violent
sport
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 can lead to conflict among participants. The aim of the
sport
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 is to strengthen the friendship of nations, whereas in sports that involved
violence
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 display picture of candidates that hurting and facing serious injury by its opponent.
As a result
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, people in the country can be influenced and convince from those brutal cases and develop anger and negative feelings.
For example
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, world football league that has been set up every year to create a positive bounding of people from different countries, is always end up with fighting for football fans and lead to cause of death and serious injuries of people in the fields. In conclusion, in order to prevent the conflict in society and among nations, the government should ban the violent sports from broadcasting and from international competitions.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • combat sports
  • glorification of violence
  • impressionable audiences
  • cultural heritage
  • self-discipline
  • sportsmanship
  • media portrayal
  • regulatory measures
  • censorship
  • psychological impact
  • broadcasting regulations
  • watershed timing
  • advocates and opponents
  • ethical considerations
  • economic implications
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