IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Scientific development is one of the most indispensable subjects in modern
society
Use synonyms
. Even though some argue the mission of
science
Use synonyms
 should be focused on divergent aspects of
society
Use synonyms
, and not only based on human
life
Use synonyms
, I think by putting the focus on improving the quality of individuals’ lives and betterment of humanity,
science
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 would cover other aspects, like a lot of worldwide challenges,
such
Linking Words
 as climate change. First and foremost, increasing the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 is one of the paramount effects of
science
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
science
Use synonyms
 has touched all aspects of day-by-day
life
Use synonyms
 including medicine, communication, and
technology
Use synonyms
. Take COVID-19 as a recent sample of the impact of
science
Use synonyms
 in medicine; Inventing a new vaccine has saved thousands of lives; or even a new scientific branch like Biotechnology, the blend of biology and
technology
Use synonyms
, is the use of biology to develop new products, methods, and organisms intended to improve human health and
society
Use synonyms
. Another example is all the achievements in
technology
Use synonyms
 that without any doubt made human
life
Use synonyms
 more convenient, which have raised the standard of living by producing more user-friendly and capable devices, say, smartphones and domestic devices for all ages.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the betterment of human
life
Use synonyms
 is in alignment with a better and healthier community which is the prime mission of
science
Use synonyms
. Taking the concern for the future of humanity into account, scientific
society
Use synonyms
 addresses many challenges and issues of the whole world including climate change, eradication of poverty, and malnourishment. With
this
Linking Words
 perspective, scientists look for solutions to overcome all these obstacles and problems to make human lives better, which would result in great societal impacts too.
For instance
Linking Words
, the extraordinary improvement of
technology
Use synonyms
 in recent decades has brought vast concerns to light about the technological trash
that is
Linking Words
 produced.
This
Linking Words
 is one of the recognized globalized issues that has been worked out by tilting toward recyclable materials. In conclusion, I staunchly believe that the most important goal of
science
Use synonyms
 is being in the service of humanity by the betterment of human
life
Use synonyms
 and increasing the quality of individuals. With emphasis on
this
Linking Words
 purpose, other targets like a better
society
Use synonyms
 would
also
Linking Words
 be achieved.
Submitted by mh.emrani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-structured and linked with cohesive devices. Although you've done this well, there's always room for refinement to make transitions even smoother and clearer.
Task Achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them to strengthen your position. This will enrich your essay and show a deeper level of critical thinking.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a greater range of vocabulary to express ideas precisely and avoid repetition where possible. This will not only demonstrate language proficiency but will also make the essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
Revisit the prompt to ensure that all parts are fully addressed. While you have mostly achieved this, double-checking ensures complete coverage of the topic.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data where possible to support your arguments. This lends authority to your essay and shows an understanding of the real-world impact of science.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: