Many religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In today’s diverse society,
although
some individuals believe that religious education should be taught in school curricula, others contend that it should be avoided. Both viewpoints present convincing arguments yet I firmly believe that it should not be added to the formal education curriculum as it may lead to discrimination and challenges in maintaining a secular learning environment. On one hand, proponents of teaching multiple
religions
in schools argue that it allows students to gain knowledge about different faiths, fostering cultural understanding. In brief, by learning about the historical and cultural significance of
religions
, learners can develop a broader perspective and appreciate the diversity existing in society. Studying Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity,
for instance
, can offer precious insights into the rich tapestry of human experiences.
On the other hand
, advocates of avoiding religious education in educational institutes believe that it could lead to religious bias and favouritism. They assert that religious teachings may propagate biased beliefs and influence students’ attitudes towards those who hold different faiths or no religious beliefs at all.
As a result
, it creates divisions and sabotages social cohesion within the school environment. In my opinion, it is crucial to take an equitable approach by explaining to students the historical, social, and cultural aspects of
religions
without promoting any specific belief system.
This
enables them to develop an informed and nuanced perspective of religion
while
maintaining a secular and inclusive learning environment. In conclusion, despite teaching several
religions
that can stimulate cultural understanding, there is a potential risk of religious prejudice and the possibility of erosion of a neutral educational atmosphere.
However
, by maintaining a balance between these two approaches, students can be religiously literate
while
sustaining a secular learning atmosphere.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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structure
Ensure you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The essay lacks a thesis statement in the introduction indicating the direction of the argument.
support
Make sure that the main points in your essay are well-supported with specific examples or evidence, which was lacking in this essay.
balance
Balance the discussion of both views more evenly before stating your opinion, and ensure that your own view is supported by strong reasons and examples.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to better organize and link ideas.
task response
Properly address all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the argument equally and giving a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • religious education
  • multi-faith society
  • values and ethics
  • tolerance
  • diversity
  • religious freedom
  • secular education
  • curriculum
  • worldviews
  • interfaith dialogue
  • religious literacy
  • moral guidance
  • cultural understanding
  • critical thinking
  • respect
  • indoctrination
  • religious beliefs
  • secular state
  • religious extremism
  • academic subject
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