Some people think that with combined effort on the part of government and society crime can be completed eradicated, while others argue that this is completely hypothetical and that crime has always been present in societies even in ancient times. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with?

#people #effort #part #government #society #crime #societies #times #two

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Some would argue that if both the governmental authorities and citizens of the nation stand on one platform,

then

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crimes can be eliminated from the

society

Use synonyms

wholly, while others argue that they cannot vanish as it is present since past times. I believe that if everyone comes forward and accept people who have committed some offences after their termination period,

then

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this

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predicament can be removed to some extent. Those people who think the crimes are present since ancient period believe that there are various conditions prevailing since history,

such

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as unemployment, low finances and dissatisfaction in life which forces them to choose the wrong path.

As a result

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, they become frustrated and find crimes as the easiest solution to their problem.

For example

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, in a survey by the United Nations People Welfare in the year, 2019 concluded that in most countries the ratio of crimes involves loss of job and family hindrances.

However

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, I believe that in order to solely remove crime everyone should stand together.

On the other hand

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, a combined effort of the

society

Use synonyms

and the government can help in eradicating major predicaments of crime.

This

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can be done with compassion to convict people, acceptance in

society

Use synonyms

and providing them with a job.

For instance

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, Germany has become the

first

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crime-free county by sending misled people to rehabilitation centres and provided them with an occupation, which helped them in building a successful career and give them an another chance to thrive. I believe

this

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is the most preferable option for a state to eradicate crime rates and to grow. In conclusion,

although

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there are many beliefs that offences cannot be removed as it is already present, I think every problem has a solution if both the people and the government take

actions

Suggestion

action

to solve the issues by accepting criminals as a part of

society

Use synonyms

after their conviction period and treat them as a normal person.

Submitted by Nidhi Walia on Sun Jun 14 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote areas with natural environments, such as the South Pole. Is this a positive or negative development?

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These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children why mothers go out to work

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.